3 Regulation Tools To Help Kids Feel More Calm And In Control

Big emotions are a natural part of childhood—and of being human, for that matter. Whether your child is on the verge of a meltdown, having a hard time focusing, or bouncing off the walls, their nervous system might be asking for some support. These 3 simple tools can help them feel more grounded, calm, and in control.

1. Taking Deep Breaths

Have you ever asked a child to take deep breaths and been met with a loud "I don't want to!"? I have... many times. I've learned that simply taking deep breaths isn't usually appealing to kids, especially if they are already feeling upset. If you make it more playful and avoid using the word "breath", however, they often become much more into it! Here are my go-to ways to gamify deep breathing:

• Blowing bubbles

• Pinwheel: blow on it with a long, gentle breath to make it spin for as long as possible

• Mountain breaths: trace each finger while breathing in on the way up / out on the way down

• Balloon breaths: pretend your hands are a balloon you are blowing it up really big

• Candle breaths: pretending each finger is a candle and blow them out one by one

2. Heavy Work

Heavy work involves activities that engage the muscles and joints, such as pushing, pulling, lifting, or carrying. This provides proprioceptive sensory input that helps the body understand where it is in space and helps us feel more grounded and calm. Outdoor play / full body movement activities are perfect for this, but many kids aren't moving as much as is recommended. Here are some quick activities to meet this need between longer active play sessions:

• Hand pushes: have your child push against your hands as hard as they can. Make it more fun by challenging them to knock you over! You can also encourage them to push their own hands together to see which one "wins" or push against a wall to try to knock it over

• Animal walks: challenge your child to bear crawl, crab walk, hop like a frog, or slither like a snake. These are especially helpful for dreaded transitions, such a bedtime. Sometimes kids are more motivated to do these exercises if you say something along the lines of "I'm not sure if you can do this, it's pretty tricky!" or call them "secret missions."

• Big helper: wiping tables / windows, vacuuming, moving laundry from the washer to the dryer, or taking out the trash are excellent ways to get more heavy work while also developing life skills.

• Bus driver: spread stuffed animals around the room and have your child push a laundry basket to pick them up from their "bus stops." Add a weight or large book to the laundry basket to make it heavier. This can be a fun way to get them to clean up!

3. Deep Pressure

Deep pressure is slow, firm input to the body and tends to be calming for the nervous system. Almost every child I've worked with loves it! However, always check in with your kiddo to make sure it feels good to them and don't try to provide deep pressure if they don't want you to.

• Bear hugs: this is one of the simplest and fastest ways to provide deep pressure!

• Weighted lap pads or blankets: you can make your own lap pad by filling an extra large sock with rice.

• Kid sandwich: have your child lie on their belly on the floor or couch. Slowly press a pillow onto their back, legs, and arms to make them into a "sandwich." You can pretend to be adding a different ingredient with each press to make this more entertaining.

• Kid burrito: similar concept as above, but wrap your child up in a blanket really tight to make them into a burrito

These three tools can be used throughout the day to help regulate your child's nervous system. The key is making them playful and inviting so your child will be more likely to participate. I always recommend practicing new regulation strategies at least 10 times when your child is already regulated before trying to use them in the heat of an emotional moment. Every child is different, so explore these strategies to see what works best for your child! And, if you would like more individualized support, feel free to reach out to schedule a virtual consultation.

This blog post is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to replace personalized advice or therapy from a licensed occupational therapist. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider regarding concerns about your child’s development or specific needs.